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https://anchor.fm/deardiarycoffee/episodes/Storytime-Betrayed-Biking-by-Andrew-Hairston-e1os2kd

Betrayed Biking by Andrew R. Hairston 

Ray picked up some of the residual cocaine off the nightstand and placed it on his upper and lower gums. Danielle smiled as he did so, and then she sang a verse of the project she'd been telling him about. He laid back and assumed a comfortable position on the bed. 

As she lifted up her voice, she inched slightly closer - but did not touch him. She finished, he clapped, she grabbed the straw to snort another line, and he sunk deeper into the pillow that was propping him up. 

***

They met two weeks prior to that moment, as one typically meets new folks during weekends in Austin - tripping on acid. Ray called his buddy Kevin in a fit of restlessness and told him that he had a couple tabs left over from a previous trip. Kevin enthusiastically agreed, and Ray grabbed his bike to head over to Kevin's spot on Salina. 

Given the existence of Kevin's four roommates, Ray leaned the bike on the side of the house rather than lock it. Ray stepped inside, as he had done one hundred times, and her brilliant grin greeted him. 

"Hey love - how are you doing?" Danielle asked. 

Kevin hadn't indicated that anyone else was with him, but Ray didn't mind Danielle's presence at all. He felt a connection that he'd only been experiencing with men as of late. Ray took his usual seat on the large couch, and the conversation with Danielle took over in the best way. 

Even though she expressed her opposition to the COVID-19 vaccine early on - which somewhat threw Ray off - they quickly bonded over their shared bisexuality and interest in struggles for Black power. 

Ray eventually pulled out the LSD tabs at Kevin's request. Ray nearly forgot about his friend in the midst of the kaleidoscopic colors in front of him, made even more vivid by the enrapturing aura of Danielle. 

Nothing happened during that first night they spent together - but - to cap off a glorious introduction - they left Kevin's house around 7 a.m. and biked down E. 12th Street, staying together until she veered right on Pleasant Valley. 

Ray continued just past Airport Blvd and arrived home with a burst of energy – and Danielle heavily on the brain. 

*** 

The weeks that flowed from that introduction revealed as many similarities between Ray and Danielle as potential points of divergence. Danielle met Kevin at a bar near the Domain, and they began fucking soon thereafter. She decided to stop that arrangement the night she met Ray. 

Ray sought a relationship immediately, and Danielle hoped to pump the brakes on a series of rapidly successive courtships. They landed on a compromise that entailed meeting up at Ray's house, enjoying an assortment of drugs - typically shrooms and coke - and discussing how a relationship might proceed between them. 

One week after the first acid trip, Danielle shared that she had a seven-year-old son. Due to familial disagreements about her drug use, her mother gained custody of her son right after he finished the first grade. Ray took in the solemn words and sent Danielle $100 as a solidarity offering when they parted ways that night. 

During the second acid trip, which occurred just one night before the present moment, they conversed about their mutual interest in exploring polyamory. They both admitted how new the concept was to them, and they both informally agreed to remain celibate as they approached the two-month milestone of knowing one another – and understanding the depths of their connection. 

So here they were, deep in the potential of a new romance, fully taking in the intoxicating power of the drugs they shared and the physical proximity of one to the other. 

***

The weeks steadily proceeded as Ray and Danielle spent more time together, and they found themselves navigating an unseasonably cool weekend in May. 

Ray's gracious new neighbors - Jean-Claude and Laura - invited him and Danielle to a concert off Menchaca. Jean-Claude approached Ray at another neighbor's potluck near the beginning of the year. The two men connected effortlessly. Jean-Claude introduced Ray to Laura, his wife of six months, and they let this new friendship take off. 

With this elegant French-American couple, Ray explored Austin staples from the Barton Creek Mall to Home Slice Pizza. With Danielle by his side, he was ready for another adventure with them. 

"My love - a wild thought- what if we biked over to that concert on Menchaca?" Ray posed the question as Danielle finished rubbing the last of the coke on her gums. 

"Sure baby - let's just leave about half an hour earlier than we would to give ourselves enough time." she expressed her agreement as she planted a gentle kiss on his lips. 

The tingle of the cocaine and the electricity between them elevated Ray's mood even more. 

They decided to bike all the way down E. 12th Street to I-35. They alternated taking the lead as they glided down the I-35 service road, eventually taking a right on E. 6th Street. They cruised down the thoroughfare, appreciating it in the calmer hours before the nighttime activity inevitably takes over.

More than several blocks down the road they reached Lamar, meaning they were more than halfway there. They stopped outside of the original Whole Foods, noting an oddly empty pavilion.

"My love, follow me." Danielle said as she gingerly grabbed Ray's hand. 

They locked their bikes and proceeded to the second level of the store's outdoor seating. Ray glanced at Danielle, observing the sun reflect off her chocolate skin. She reached into one of the pockets of her flowing dress and pulled out a small bag of coke. 

"Babe, you are so sneaky," Ray said as he moved in to embrace her. 

She pulled out her keys and they both did a couple bumps. Feeling the rush of such a high, both of them recognized a source of effortlessness from the other. They also recognized the thrill of being on the precipice of so many possibilities.

They held each other for a bit longer, and then they nodded to indicate their willingness to continue the journey. The path from Lamar to Menchaca seemed exceptionally easy with the wind provided by a few bumps of cocaine. 

*** 

The home-venue ended up being right down the street from Radio Bar. Ray and Danielle found spots for their bikes just in time to spot Jean-Claude and Laura walking up. 

"Ray, what's up man? Good to see you - and this must be Danielle," Jean-Claude greeted them with his characteristic warmness. The four of them exchanged introductory hugs soon thereafter. Ray and Danielle stepped inside the home right after Jean-Claude and Laura entered the threshold. 

Several folks spread out across the space, with glasses of red wine in hand, set the mood for an intimate concert. Ray only needed to look at Danielle and witness a subtle head nod to know that he should retrieve two glasses of wine for them. 

Ray dipped and dodged through the moderate crowd, far less fearful of contracting COVID-19 than he'd been a year ago. He arrived in the kitchen just in time to see a handsome man pull two glasses down from a cabinet. Ray must've stared for longer than he'd intended, because the man's introduction almost escaped him. 

"Hey, I'm Martin. Welcome."

Ray snapped out of the short trance long enough to extend his hand. 

"Hey, I'm Ray - no chance you could grab one more glass?" 

"Who am I getting it for?" Martin asked with a smile. 

"This woman I came with – Danielle," Ray replied. 

"Is she your girlfriend?" Martin inquired - paired with a look that Ray often employed when he flirted. 

"Not yet." Ray said with a mixture of confidence and intrigue. 

Ray felt a hand on the small of his back - Jean-Claude's face appeared in front of them. 

"Something told me that you two would meet before I got the opportunity to properly introduce y'all. Ray, Martin and I have been friends for about five years - this is his home." Jean-Claude explained. 

Ray and Martin extended their hands to each other to memorialize the formal introduction. 

"Martin, pour a few more glasses of wine and join us in the living room!" Jean-Claude said as he walked off. 

"Well, do you need help with those?" Ray asked. 

"Sure, I'll take your assistance," Martin stated with a grin, placing the glasses in Ray's hands as he did so. 

The two men walked into the living room, and Ray immediately noticed Danielle chatting with a moderately handsome white man. Ray came to her side, and she briefly hesitated. 

"Oh, Ray, this is Smith; Smith, this is Ray." 

Even with the standard greeting, something told Ray to hold back a bit. Following the handshake, he transferred one of the glasses of wine to Danielle. 

"Ah, looks like we're one short - Smith, do you want to come with me to get your glass?" she said. 

Smith certainly did not pause, and he and Danielle were in the kitchen as the band began their set. Ray stood in the middle of the room; before he could linger on the slight unease, Martin came up right beside him, connecting his glass to Ray's. 

The combined genre of blues and jazz enveloped the room. At some point, Ray noticed Smith and Danielle to the left of him and Martin. The tunes assuaged the doubt. 

Ray felt a revival of that indescribable spirit that brought him to Austin four years prior and that had kept him here since - in the company of beautiful people. 

*** 

Two hours swiftly passed by, and the six partygoers stood in a circle for at least half an hour after the last song. Ray didn't know exactly what it was, but now it seemed like the ease of the evening had never left him. There appeared to be some sort of rhythmic flow as the conversation naturally unfolded. 

As the occupancy of the house dwindled, Danielle expressed what felt like a group thought. 

"Do y'all want to go to Radio Bar to get a few drinks?" 

Everyone nodded in unison. The six of them gathered their things and moved toward the entrance. Ray went to put his arm around Danielle's shoulder, but she swiftly walked ahead with Smith. It was implied that the bikes could stay in front of Martin's house. 

Not even five minutes later, they all took comfortable seats under a large tree in the outside portion of Radio Bar. Smith opened a tab and kept the IPAs flowing to them all. Ray sat near Martin with Smith and Danielle in direct eyeshot. Martin leaned in after getting his third refill. 

"I've been watching your gaze jump from me to Danielle all evening." 

Ray now noticed a countenance with elevated determination. 

"Well, I am bi." Ray said it both coyly and with an inquisitive hook. 

"Well, I don't love labels, but I guess bisexuality comes closest to describing how my attraction works." Martin responded. 

Ray perked up. 

Jean-Claude and Laura suddenly stood. 

"Lovely people, I have a work presentation on Monday that I need to actually start." she said. 

Jean-Claude smiled at all of them. 

They all rose to properly say goodbye, and then the four remaining folks looked around.

"I know Martin's place is right down the street but so is mine - just south of the highway - and I have some Texas whiskey I'd like y'all to try." Smith said. 

"That sounds like a move," Danielle responded. 

She looked at Ray and quickly winked. As good as he felt in that moment, he couldn't remember why he'd sensed any discomfort. 

"I'm down," said Ray. 

"Me too," Martin replied. 

All four of them - sufficiently tipsy and content - walked half a mile from Radio to Smith's home. Smith unlocked his front door and revealed a comfortable earth-toned living room. 

"Feel free to relax on the couch - I'll make the drinks," Smith said. 

Ray, Danielle, and Martin assumed relatively close positions on the couch. Ray sat in the middle of them and extended his arms across both sets of their shoulders. 

They heard Gregory Porter enter the space through a nearby speakerbox. Smith reappeared, expertly balancing four cups of whiskey. He placed them on coasters and then took a seat next to Danielle. 

The four of them almost swayed together as the conversation shifted from the concert, to music more broadly to dating to sex - with an emphasis on preferences. 

Ray had been interested in group sex for a while, and each passing moment seemingly brought him closer to the fulfillment of this dream.

Smith turned off the speakers and turned on his smart TV. He chose a series of Erykah Badu videos. Ray now perceived him as a particularly soulful white man.

Martin abruptly stood and beckoned for Ray to follow him. They arrived on the front porch, Ray closed the front door, and then he leaned on it. 

Martin looked him squarely in the eyes. 

"I have to go - I don't want to give you the wrong impression - I've had a wonderful time this evening, but I'm not ready for this," Martin said. 

As he finished, he stepped closer to Ray and kissed him for five seconds. The gesture seemed both hopeful and final.

"I hope you enjoy the rest of the night with Smith and Danielle," Martin concluded. 

He walked off to a car - an Uber that he must've subtly called. 

Ray barely processed it before he was back on the couch. Danielle and Smith remained in an embrace. The possibilities of the evening still existed. 

"It's pretty late - should we go to bed?" Smith asked. 

Danielle just smiled. 

"Sure, let me go to the restroom," Ray said. 

He went down the hall to relieve himself in somewhat of a daze. As he turned on the sink, he heard thumping. 

"Harder - harder - harder!" Danielle screamed. 

Ray prepared himself for the scene he was about to witness in the living room. He stepped back into the hall, taking a few seconds to realize they weren't in the common area. The sounds came from a closed door

Ray almost thought to check if it was locked, but he decided against it. He went to the entrance, grabbed his shoes and proceeded to the sidewalk. 

He didn't know where his thoughts were, he barely knew where he was. Somehow, he did find his way back to Martin's house - where his bike awaited him. 

He looked at his watch as he hopped on - it was 7:30 in the morning. 

He started riding & the tears streamed down. 

He didn't have Danielle. He didn't have Martin. He had his bike, the trail ahead, and a sunset highlighting this incredible city. It would have to suffice for now, even if he wanted more.